BudgetMama

The other night I was invited out for a night with ‘the boys’. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight …promise!

Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 3 A.M., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up, and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, I realized she’d probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

Next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her 12 o’clock. She didn’t seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said “Well, it cuckooed 3 times, then said ‘oh f***,’ cuckooed four more times, cleared it’s throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted.

If you can afford to have a filing cabinet then get one, one of those little 2 drawer ones are perfect for the job. If you can’t get one, don’t want one, or don’t have room for one then a perfect alternative is a plastic tub or document box, the kind that are sized just right to hold manila folders. Basically what I am saying is that you need to have a specific place for managing your money.

You’ll need to get a packet of manila folders, then give the folders headings according to your income and expenses, plus create one for receipts also. Now you can keep your income slips, cheque butts and receipts all in one location and come tax time life will be so much easier.

Check with your local tax organisation about how long records need to be kept. Some need 3 years and others need up to 7.

Each year once you have completed your tax return, tape 2 pieces of copy paper together, then gather up all your paperwork for that year, wrap the two pieces of paper around all the paperwork and tape together to hold in place. Now you can place that years records at the back of your filing system and write the lodgement date on the part of the paper facing up and it will now be easy to locate should you ever need to.

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.

“Lord, I have a problem!”

“What’s the problem, Eve?”

“Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.”

“Why is that, Eve?” came the reply from above.

“Lord, I am lonely, and I’m sick to death of apples.”

“Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you.”

“What’s a man, Lord?”

“This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He’ll lie, cheat, and be vain, glorious; all in all, he’ll give you a hard time. But …he’ll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he’s aroused, but since you’ve been complaining, I’ll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won’t be too smart, so he’ll also need your advice to think properly.”

“Sounds great.” says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. What’s the catch, Lord?”

“Well … you can have him on one condition.”

“What’s that, Lord?”

“As I said, he’ll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring… So you’ll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it’s our little secret…You know, woman to woman.”

1. One of the most valuable personal money management tips I can offer is to use a budget planner and you can get mine, the BudgetMama System right here. Having a visual idea of your finances makes the process of keeping track not only easier but more accurate and of course also provides you with that important feeling of control.

2. Opening an online savings account offers you a much higher interest rate than a branch account. Having no branch or ATM access also means you are more likely to keep your savings than dip into them on impulse as withdrawing from this type of account requires transferring the funds into your normal bank account and usually takes at least 24 hours.

3. Don’t save at the expense of your social life, but don’t let your social life stop you from saving. Studies show that people who include an allowance in their budget for enjoyable activities are more likely to stick to their budget and therefore save more in the long term. When you resent your budget and feel restricted by it you will be more inclined to break it and ultimately loose track of the entire thing. Remember, life is all about balance.

4. Review your budget on a regular basis. By establishing the habit of sitting in front of your budget planner and bills one night a week you will be developing a habit that ensures you are always on top of things. In time you will begin to notice ways in which you can improve your budget while freeing up more cash, or perhaps notice a few leaks that need to be plugged before they get out of control.

5. When it comes to regular savings, change your mindset. To illustrate; when you receive a bill in the mail you know you can’t avoid paying it, there is no way around this, it is a social norm. Start thinking of your savings account as a bill that must be paid and even if that bill is only $5 a week; pay it before you do anything else.

6. These days most people (in the first world at least) receive their pay cheque as a direct deposit into their bank account. Decide on an amount of money you can reasonably save out of each pay and ask your boss or payroll department to split your pay cheque with a set amount going straight to your savings and the rest going to your normal account. With that small amount out of sight it is also out of mind and you won’t miss it.

7. Did you know that by shopping at convenience stores like the gas station and mini mart you could be paying between 25 – 40% more than you would at the grocery store? So, shop at the grocery store.

8. Pay loans more frequently; by paying down debt on a weekly or fortnightly basis rather than monthly you will seriously reduce the interest on the loan in the long term.

9. Recognise yourself and know your weaknesses. It’s okay to have weaknesses, we all have them, for some it’s chocolate, for many it’s shoes, but whatever your weakness is, don’t put yourself in front of temptation. If you know you can’t walk past your favourite shoe shop without hearing angels sing at the site of a gorgeous pair in the window; then take a different route.

10. Finally the last of my personal money management tips is this: learn to save money, emphasis here on the word ‘learn’. For most of us a savings habit does not come naturally. Studies show that in order for an action to become a habit it must be done over and over again, I think the standard here is 21 days. But we all know that good habits can be much harder to imprint on our brains than bad ones, so start off small. A great way to learn to save is to choose something you want that is small, say a digital camera for $300. Be specific about your goal by choosing the actual camera model you want then get a catalogue picture of it and stick to the fridge. Now we all know these days purchasing items on store finance is sadly more the norm than actually paying for it with cash, but don’t do it. Decide to prove to yourself that you can buy this item by saving your own money and remind yourself that you will be saving on finance fee’s as well as hefty interest. You know you need to save $50 a week for the next 6 weeks to get that thing which you desire, so whilst keeping your visual goal in mind set about saving that $50 and then reward yourself by paying cash for that camera in 6 weeks time. As you get into the habit of saving, believe me you will actually begin to enjoy the process of setting goals, visualising them, working towards them and then rewarding yourself at the end.

Call me a pessimist, or maybe a little on the cynical side, but this chain letter just appeals to my sense of humour, so I had to share….

This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged women. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented. Then bundle up your husband or boyfriend and send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the following list, and add your name to the bottom of the list.

When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 men. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have. At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 men, of whom 4 were worth keeping.

REMEMBER this chain letter brings luck. One woman’s cat died, and the next day she received a hunk. An unmarried woman living with her widowed mother was able to choose between a Chippendale dancer and an Olympic swimmer. You can be lucky, too, but DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN! One woman broke the chain and got her own husband back again! Let’s keep it going, ladies! Just add your name to the list below!

Hillary Clinton 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington, DC…………………….